The northern hemisphere

We are in the midst of the coldest winter in my relatively short existence on the planet so far. For years I have always welcomed a batch of snow over the festive period, it adds something extra to proceedings and cements the yuletide joy. Without it, christmas just isn't the same, somewhat empty in a strange sort of way.

But this winter season has been different from all previous I have experienced, for well over a fortnight the snow has been in free fall, its thicker than a jar of marmite and ankle deep, chin deep if you've got legs like Verne Troyer. It shows no sign of moving on at any point currently and the country, as it always is when any sort of adverse weather rears it head up, is in proverbial meltdown.

Now, for me, its a double edged sword. Because as much as I like snow, mainly due to the fact it gives people the opportunity to have a winge, which in turn gives people an excuse to go the pub. Which is fine by me, mines a Lager and a packet of Bacon fries, cheers. On the other hand though, I work outdoors so I get the full brunt of the winter chill everyday and feel like Christopher Dean for the best part of 4 hours. "You should be grateful you are working in this climate" I can hear people say. And yes, I am. (No pun intended there by the way). The body just isn't acclimatised to be grafting in -5 and less temperatures, my bollocks are usually tickling my oseophagus by the end of the shift. The company talk about Safety & Health, they switched the words around last year to "Move with the times" (its irrelevant to be perfectly honest), yet they send us out in what can only be described as "treacherous" conditions. Hypocrites. Still, I get to visit my favourite sandwich shop and talk about football with my favourite Jewish doctor, sublime stuff. Anyways, there is always light at the end of the tunnel, and that light is the fucking weekend.